7月17日雅思大作文示范写作 | 广告意在推销非必需品吗?
应对
The key to solving environmental problems is simple: present generations must have a less comfortable life for the sake of future generations.
To what extent do you agree or disagree?
这个题目
(2020年8月22日真题)
学生写的开头段落如下：
(今天，我们分析的不仅仅是一个句子，而是一整个段落)
Contemporary people, to preserve our environment for the next generation, have to abandon their comfortable lifestyle. I would disagree with this opinion, because coping with environmental pollution does not necessarily mean that the present generation must sacrifice their life.
教师修改后的段落，如下：
It is argued that people, to preserve our environment for the next generation, have to abandon their comfortable lifestyle. I disagree with this opinion, because solving environmental problems, typically pollution, does not necessarily mean that the present generation must reduce their life quality.
首先，原来的第 一句，是在表明本文作者的观点，而不是陈述别人的观点。但是，第二句又说到“不同意”这个观点，于是，两句突了。于是第 一句需要加上 It is argued … 来说明这是别人的观点。
contemporary 这个词余。
表明自己“不同意”的时候，不需要would。因为作者就是“不同意”，而不是“(如果怎么样的话就会)不同意”。would这个情态动词暗示了(如果怎么样的话就会)，这个暗示并不成立，因为难道是“如果有别人有某种想法，作者就会不同意”么?显然不是，因为别人就是已经有题目中所说的想法，而不是如果有。
cope with 的意思是“应付/对付/应对/处理”，但是都不是“解决(掉，于是问题就没有了)”。
sacrifice 这个词的意思重了。“牺牲生活”感觉很可悲，应该不至于那么严重，而是“降低生活质量”，这个程度正常些。
小总结
本回无
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7月17日雅思大作文示范写作 | 广告意在推销非必需品吗?
年7月17雅思大作文题目
Some people say that the main aim of advertising is to improve the sales of products that people do not really need.
To what extent do you agree or disagree?
范文及解析
Introduction
Advertising has been an integral part of our economic and social life now. However, as a powerful technique of promoting sales, it has been censured by some people for its “main aim”: to encourage shoppers to buy unnecessary goods. I tend to think that this view presents a very one-sided picture of advertising.
【解析】
integral part 不可或缺的部分
censure 谴责v.
one-sided 片面的adj.
Body Paragraph 1
The commentary is understandable that advertising creates unconscious desires. People holding this view may ascribe their over-consumption to advertisers’ exaggerated claims of their marketing pitches, which means advertising puts goods in a positive light, creating unrealistic expectations, all for the benefit of selling. Enticed by these messages, consumers would buy goods of little or no value to themselves on impulse, be it a new cell phone or a massage armchair.
【解析】
ascribe … to … 归咎于
marketing pitch 市场营销
entice 怂恿 v.
on impulse 一时冲动
Body Paragraph 2
To persuade potential customers through evoking their psychological appeals, indeed, is one objective of advertising. However, I would argue that there is a controversy in what constitutes necessities versus non-essentials. This ambiguous notion is changing, along with the change in generations. To explain, what seems nonessential now – a massage armchair, for example – may fulfill its function years later, whereas what seems required now – a cell phone, for example – may soon lose its value if operating systems suddenly upgrade.
【解析】
evoke 唤醒 v.
psychological appeals
controversy 争议 n.
Body Paragraph 3
My firm conviction is that the real objective of advertising is to promote effective communication between producers and consumers. When a new product is to be introduced in the market, producers create memorable advertising campaigns that boost brans recognition, from which potential customers can be informed more about product advantages and know what suits their requirements and budget. Not only that, advertising helps maintain the demand for existing products and services.
【解析】
introduce 引入v.
Conclusion
In conclusion, I would say that the main aim of advertising is to prepare a ground for the sales of products, but we cannot affirm that the promoted goods are unnecessary.
【解析】
prepare a ground for 为…打基础
affirm 断言v.
