7月17日雅思大作文示范写作 | 广告意在推销非必需品吗?
应对
The key to solving environmental problems is simple: present generations must have a less comfortable life for the sake of future generations.
To what extent do you agree or disagree?
这个题目
学生在主体部分的第二段第 一句写了：
Additionally, only a few those activities in daily life may cause damage to the environment, and as long as people can change those behavior, there will be less pollution and the quality of current generation’s life will hardly decrease.
我们来看教师修改后的句子，如下：
In addition, those actions/acts in daily life that may cause damage to the environment are so little that the change of them will hardly reduce the quality of life.
在修饰一整个句子的时候，书面表达的习惯通常是 in addition，而不是 additionally。用介词短语替代副词，类似的有 in general而不是generally。
原句中的 only a few 是表意重点，但是这个重点在原句中不够凸显，所以句型换作 so … that … 来凸显， so little that blah blah blah 可以凸显出little这个程度以及little带来的结果。
原句是两个分句的简单复合，修改后依托 so … that … 句型，让句子更紧凑。
同时，原句中的一些赘述被抛弃。
小总结
句型的选择可以凸显句子的表意重点，大家要知道我们些句子的时候，自己心里默念然后加了重音的部分是很主观的，而我们的读者在看我们的句子的时候，重音不放在我们默念时的地方。所以，只有精选句型(句型本身可以突出表意重点，我们称之为“(用)语法(来)强调”，区别于口头表达和交流时候的“(用)重音(来)强调”)才能让句子。
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7月17日雅思大作文示范写作 | 广告意在推销非必需品吗?
年7月17雅思大作文题目
Some people say that the main aim of advertising is to improve the sales of products that people do not really need.
To what extent do you agree or disagree?
范文及解析
Introduction
Advertising has been an integral part of our economic and social life now. However, as a powerful technique of promoting sales, it has been censured by some people for its “main aim”: to encourage shoppers to buy unnecessary goods. I tend to think that this view presents a very one-sided picture of advertising.
【解析】
integral part 不可或缺的部分
censure 谴责v.
one-sided 片面的adj.
Body Paragraph 1
The commentary is understandable that advertising creates unconscious desires. People holding this view may ascribe their over-consumption to advertisers’ exaggerated claims of their marketing pitches, which means advertising puts goods in a positive light, creating unrealistic expectations, all for the benefit of selling. Enticed by these messages, consumers would buy goods of little or no value to themselves on impulse, be it a new cell phone or a massage armchair.
【解析】
ascribe … to … 归咎于
marketing pitch 市场营销
entice 怂恿 v.
on impulse 一时冲动
Body Paragraph 2
To persuade potential customers through evoking their psychological appeals, indeed, is one objective of advertising. However, I would argue that there is a controversy in what constitutes necessities versus non-essentials. This ambiguous notion is changing, along with the change in generations. To explain, what seems nonessential now – a massage armchair, for example – may fulfill its function years later, whereas what seems required now – a cell phone, for example – may soon lose its value if operating systems suddenly upgrade.
【解析】
evoke 唤醒 v.
psychological appeals
controversy 争议 n.
Body Paragraph 3
My firm conviction is that the real objective of advertising is to promote effective communication between producers and consumers. When a new product is to be introduced in the market, producers create memorable advertising campaigns that boost brans recognition, from which potential customers can be informed more about product advantages and know what suits their requirements and budget. Not only that, advertising helps maintain the demand for existing products and services.
【解析】
introduce 引入v.
Conclusion
In conclusion, I would say that the main aim of advertising is to prepare a ground for the sales of products, but we cannot affirm that the promoted goods are unnecessary.
【解析】
prepare a ground for 为…打基础
affirm 断言v.
