7月17日雅思大作文示范写作 | 广告意在推销非必需品吗?
应对
Some people regard video games as harmless fun, or even as a useful educational tool. Others, however, believe that videos games are having an adverse effect on the people who play them. In your opinion, do the drawbacks of video games outweigh the benefits?
这个题目
这个题目，学生在主体部分写了如下一句话：
Additionally, in educational aspect, video games have contributed a lot and still helping children and teenagers learning basic and professional skills, like speaking for kids and aircraft control for future pilots.
教师修改后的句子，如下：
Educationally speaking, video games have contributed a lot, enhancing players’ performance on decision making and visual memory.
-ly speaking “从…角度来说”，可以作为两个观点的划分点;替换 besides/in addition等;
遇到and结构时，各位要看清前后在语法结构上是否平行，原句have done和helping明显的语法失误;
考官给出的题干中，讨论主体是“people who play them”，还是比较宽泛的，那我们可以广义上分析对所有玩家的好处，也可以将该主体细化;可是，后文中对children和teenagers的技能上对应举的例子“speaking”和“aircraft control”跨度也太大了，给读者一种很扯的阅读感受。因此，改写后对本部分进行调整，就所有玩家来看，现在分词短语enhancing players’ performance on something置于主句后，细化主句中的关键信息contribution，进行具体内容的补充;decision making and visual memory具象地适用于所有玩家。
小总结
不仅要多角度思考问题，还要有能力对该观点进行总结，不过度依赖生硬的并列连词、递进连词等。
雅思培训基础班
1.课程适合人群/适用阶段
（1）高中水平或雅思5分水平，基础薄弱的学生
（2）基础语法不完备，对雅思没有系统了解的学生
（3）即将进入雅思课程，希望尽早熟悉雅思考题的学生
课程简介
2.课程亮点
（1）1V1定制课程，基础到强化循序渐进。
（2）师资力量雄厚，升学指导团队的平均教龄8年以上
（3）顾问1V1全方位指导，制定专属学习计划
（4）使用原版真题和九天独家辅导资料
（5）实体教学环境，沉浸式高效学习
课程整体介绍
01
02
03
04
05
06
阅读知识点
听力知识点
口语知识点
写作知识点
核心词汇拓展
相关题型分类练习
英语听力
听力常作为一种考试题型，目的在于考察应试者对英语语言的把握，考察考生对英语日常交流的理解能力;通常有听对话选择答案、听句子默写关键字词几种形式。
英语写作
通过本课程的系统学习，每位学生能写出内容充实，在此基础上，掌握撰写毕业论文的基本技能。要熟练掌握提纲及提要和读书报告的撰写技巧，写作速度大约平均在每小时200-300词。
学习收获
现报名可打八五折
（仅限前100名学员）
（1）课前顾问对学生学习能力1对1评估，量身打造课程，帮助学生充分完成课前预习
（2）课中导师双语沟通，进行雅思题型总结，对原版真题进行知识点精讲
（3）课后完成多样化作业并进行学术测试，班主任线上线下24小时答疑
7月17日雅思大作文示范写作 | 广告意在推销非必需品吗?
年7月17雅思大作文题目
Some people say that the main aim of advertising is to improve the sales of products that people do not really need.
To what extent do you agree or disagree?
范文及解析
Introduction
Advertising has been an integral part of our economic and social life now. However, as a powerful technique of promoting sales, it has been censured by some people for its “main aim”: to encourage shoppers to buy unnecessary goods. I tend to think that this view presents a very one-sided picture of advertising.
【解析】
integral part 不可或缺的部分
censure 谴责v.
one-sided 片面的adj.
Body Paragraph 1
The commentary is understandable that advertising creates unconscious desires. People holding this view may ascribe their over-consumption to advertisers’ exaggerated claims of their marketing pitches, which means advertising puts goods in a positive light, creating unrealistic expectations, all for the benefit of selling. Enticed by these messages, consumers would buy goods of little or no value to themselves on impulse, be it a new cell phone or a massage armchair.
【解析】
ascribe … to … 归咎于
marketing pitch 市场营销
entice 怂恿 v.
on impulse 一时冲动
Body Paragraph 2
To persuade potential customers through evoking their psychological appeals, indeed, is one objective of advertising. However, I would argue that there is a controversy in what constitutes necessities versus non-essentials. This ambiguous notion is changing, along with the change in generations. To explain, what seems nonessential now – a massage armchair, for example – may fulfill its function years later, whereas what seems required now – a cell phone, for example – may soon lose its value if operating systems suddenly upgrade.
【解析】
evoke 唤醒 v.
psychological appeals
controversy 争议 n.
Body Paragraph 3
My firm conviction is that the real objective of advertising is to promote effective communication between producers and consumers. When a new product is to be introduced in the market, producers create memorable advertising campaigns that boost brans recognition, from which potential customers can be informed more about product advantages and know what suits their requirements and budget. Not only that, advertising helps maintain the demand for existing products and services.
【解析】
introduce 引入v.
Conclusion
In conclusion, I would say that the main aim of advertising is to prepare a ground for the sales of products, but we cannot affirm that the promoted goods are unnecessary.
【解析】
prepare a ground for 为…打基础
affirm 断言v.
