7月17日雅思大作文示范写作 | 广告意在推销非必需品吗?
Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
应对上面这个题目，学生在正文写了如下一句话：
However, it is the rule of Nature, which means that those who fail to adapt to the changing environment will disappear, and in one word, they are vulnerable in nature.
※ 观感上来说，句子后半部分which/that/who几个从句过分堆砌;
※ 两个宾语从句并列时：that those who fail to adapt to the changing environment will disappear和that in one word, they are vulnerable in nature，只有第 一个that可以删，学生不巧删错了;
※ 多余信息：and 之后的内容，其实已经在重复前文了，不如不要;
※ vulnerable形容词修饰they的时候，本身就是在表示“they”的“nature or character”，那么in nature也是多此一举了。
正巧，官方给过范文，其中有这样一句：
Survival of the fittest is nature’s way of ruthlessly allowing weaker specimens to die out, although mankind has also contributed to falling animal numbers through hunting and poaching.
解析：
※ 措辞相当简洁：学生长长的一句话可以浓缩成—— survival of the fittest名词短语、allowing weaker specimens to die out动名词短语
※ 副词的点缀让句子生动起来：ruthlessly
※ 小词的妙用：allow, fall
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7月17日雅思大作文示范写作 | 广告意在推销非必需品吗?
年7月17雅思大作文题目
Some people say that the main aim of advertising is to improve the sales of products that people do not really need.
To what extent do you agree or disagree?
范文及解析
Introduction
Advertising has been an integral part of our economic and social life now. However, as a powerful technique of promoting sales, it has been censured by some people for its “main aim”: to encourage shoppers to buy unnecessary goods. I tend to think that this view presents a very one-sided picture of advertising.
【解析】
integral part 不可或缺的部分
censure 谴责v.
one-sided 片面的adj.
Body Paragraph 1
The commentary is understandable that advertising creates unconscious desires. People holding this view may ascribe their over-consumption to advertisers’ exaggerated claims of their marketing pitches, which means advertising puts goods in a positive light, creating unrealistic expectations, all for the benefit of selling. Enticed by these messages, consumers would buy goods of little or no value to themselves on impulse, be it a new cell phone or a massage armchair.
【解析】
ascribe … to … 归咎于
marketing pitch 市场营销
entice 怂恿 v.
on impulse 一时冲动
Body Paragraph 2
To persuade potential customers through evoking their psychological appeals, indeed, is one objective of advertising. However, I would argue that there is a controversy in what constitutes necessities versus non-essentials. This ambiguous notion is changing, along with the change in generations. To explain, what seems nonessential now – a massage armchair, for example – may fulfill its function years later, whereas what seems required now – a cell phone, for example – may soon lose its value if operating systems suddenly upgrade.
【解析】
evoke 唤醒 v.
psychological appeals
controversy 争议 n.
Body Paragraph 3
My firm conviction is that the real objective of advertising is to promote effective communication between producers and consumers. When a new product is to be introduced in the market, producers create memorable advertising campaigns that boost brans recognition, from which potential customers can be informed more about product advantages and know what suits their requirements and budget. Not only that, advertising helps maintain the demand for existing products and services.
【解析】
introduce 引入v.
Conclusion
In conclusion, I would say that the main aim of advertising is to prepare a ground for the sales of products, but we cannot affirm that the promoted goods are unnecessary.
【解析】
prepare a ground for 为…打基础
affirm 断言v.
