7月17日雅思大作文示范写作 | 广告意在推销非必需品吗?
应对
The spread of multinational companies and the increase of globalization have positive effects on everyone.
To what extent do you agree or disagree?
这个题目。
学生在写作的主题段落里有一句写到：
Many local companies are unable to compete with those multinational companies for the market share.
这个句子当然是通顺的，同时，空间也是极大的：
1、 整体读来，句子还是比较平淡的。
2、 使用“人”或者“类人”概念作为主语，是一个惯性思维，但是可以避免。
3、 the market share这个单数逻辑值得推敲。
如何修改后提分?
看下面
教师修改后的句子：
With the entry of those multinational companies, there is keen competition that may render the local businesses unable to hold their market shares.
句子分解：
1、 给句子设置一个原因/条件状语，把multinational companies放在状语里，再出现主句，句子的结构就不那么平淡了。
2、 keen本不是一个生僻的词，但是这是用了一个熟词僻意，此处keen的意思是“激烈的”，有点意思。
3、 keen competition后正好跟一个信息丰富的定语从句，丰富了整个句子的语法现象。
4、 their market shares比原句中的the market share准确。
总结：
修改后的句子结构复杂了。这样的句子在我们的作文中是要有的(当然，主体部分的每个段落有个一句两句即可)。
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7月17日雅思大作文示范写作 | 广告意在推销非必需品吗?
年7月17雅思大作文题目
Some people say that the main aim of advertising is to improve the sales of products that people do not really need.
To what extent do you agree or disagree?
范文及解析
Introduction
Advertising has been an integral part of our economic and social life now. However, as a powerful technique of promoting sales, it has been censured by some people for its “main aim”: to encourage shoppers to buy unnecessary goods. I tend to think that this view presents a very one-sided picture of advertising.
【解析】
integral part 不可或缺的部分
censure 谴责v.
one-sided 片面的adj.
Body Paragraph 1
The commentary is understandable that advertising creates unconscious desires. People holding this view may ascribe their over-consumption to advertisers’ exaggerated claims of their marketing pitches, which means advertising puts goods in a positive light, creating unrealistic expectations, all for the benefit of selling. Enticed by these messages, consumers would buy goods of little or no value to themselves on impulse, be it a new cell phone or a massage armchair.
【解析】
ascribe … to … 归咎于
marketing pitch 市场营销
entice 怂恿 v.
on impulse 一时冲动
Body Paragraph 2
To persuade potential customers through evoking their psychological appeals, indeed, is one objective of advertising. However, I would argue that there is a controversy in what constitutes necessities versus non-essentials. This ambiguous notion is changing, along with the change in generations. To explain, what seems nonessential now – a massage armchair, for example – may fulfill its function years later, whereas what seems required now – a cell phone, for example – may soon lose its value if operating systems suddenly upgrade.
【解析】
evoke 唤醒 v.
psychological appeals
controversy 争议 n.
Body Paragraph 3
My firm conviction is that the real objective of advertising is to promote effective communication between producers and consumers. When a new product is to be introduced in the market, producers create memorable advertising campaigns that boost brans recognition, from which potential customers can be informed more about product advantages and know what suits their requirements and budget. Not only that, advertising helps maintain the demand for existing products and services.
【解析】
introduce 引入v.
Conclusion
In conclusion, I would say that the main aim of advertising is to prepare a ground for the sales of products, but we cannot affirm that the promoted goods are unnecessary.
【解析】
prepare a ground for 为…打基础
affirm 断言v.
