7月17日雅思大作文示范写作 | 广告意在推销非必需品吗?
应对
Some people think young people are more suitable to be leaders rather than old people.
To what extent do you agree or disagree?
这个题目
学生写道如下一句：
Although young leaders are able to adapt to different environments and absorb latest technologies, the two superiorities (学生的上一句中写道mature和experienced) of old leaders are considered more competitive in leadership than that of young leaders.
读起来，还真的挺像回事儿的哦?
但是吧，我觉得：
* absorb 搭配 technology怕是不合理。
* superiority本也没有优越之处的可数意义。
* the two superiorities 和后面的that of young leaders中的that在单复数上不一致。
* 词汇有升级空间。
* 信息的呼应和关联性有升级空间。
* 可以通过句型的组织让句子的信息更完整从而清晰。
看下面
教师修改意见：
Compared with old people, who may be stubborn and clumsy with electronic devices and apps, young people may be flexible and adept at manipulating cutting-edge technologies; however, experience and steadiness enable candidates of older ages to perform a better job in the leadership role.
* 词汇的升级是一回事，更重要的是：通过增加状语，明确“比较”，并且通过定语从句增加描述：stubborn和clumsy去对应flexible和adept。
* 整个句子不再用although引导的让步状语从句来描述年轻人，而改用however引导转折，效果在于把前后两个分句(分别描述年轻人和年纪大一些的人)都强化成了主句，从而使得这一整个句子成为段落的绝 对重心句子。
* 还有一些词汇亮点：steadiness、candidate、perform a job、leadership role。
小总结：
* 整体升级，需要体会，尤其体会句子的信息之间的呼应和关联性。
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7月17日雅思大作文示范写作 | 广告意在推销非必需品吗?
年7月17雅思大作文题目
Some people say that the main aim of advertising is to improve the sales of products that people do not really need.
To what extent do you agree or disagree?
范文及解析
Introduction
Advertising has been an integral part of our economic and social life now. However, as a powerful technique of promoting sales, it has been censured by some people for its “main aim”: to encourage shoppers to buy unnecessary goods. I tend to think that this view presents a very one-sided picture of advertising.
【解析】
integral part 不可或缺的部分
censure 谴责v.
one-sided 片面的adj.
Body Paragraph 1
The commentary is understandable that advertising creates unconscious desires. People holding this view may ascribe their over-consumption to advertisers’ exaggerated claims of their marketing pitches, which means advertising puts goods in a positive light, creating unrealistic expectations, all for the benefit of selling. Enticed by these messages, consumers would buy goods of little or no value to themselves on impulse, be it a new cell phone or a massage armchair.
【解析】
ascribe … to … 归咎于
marketing pitch 市场营销
entice 怂恿 v.
on impulse 一时冲动
Body Paragraph 2
To persuade potential customers through evoking their psychological appeals, indeed, is one objective of advertising. However, I would argue that there is a controversy in what constitutes necessities versus non-essentials. This ambiguous notion is changing, along with the change in generations. To explain, what seems nonessential now – a massage armchair, for example – may fulfill its function years later, whereas what seems required now – a cell phone, for example – may soon lose its value if operating systems suddenly upgrade.
【解析】
evoke 唤醒 v.
psychological appeals
controversy 争议 n.
Body Paragraph 3
My firm conviction is that the real objective of advertising is to promote effective communication between producers and consumers. When a new product is to be introduced in the market, producers create memorable advertising campaigns that boost brans recognition, from which potential customers can be informed more about product advantages and know what suits their requirements and budget. Not only that, advertising helps maintain the demand for existing products and services.
【解析】
introduce 引入v.
Conclusion
In conclusion, I would say that the main aim of advertising is to prepare a ground for the sales of products, but we cannot affirm that the promoted goods are unnecessary.
【解析】
prepare a ground for 为…打基础
affirm 断言v.
