7月17日雅思大作文示范写作 | 广告意在推销非必需品吗?
应对
Some people think that government funding for schools should be spent on science subjects rather than on other subjects.
To what extent do you agree or disagree?
这个题目。
学生写了下面这个句子：
Since the ultimate purpose of education is to cultivate qualified citizens for the future, social subjects have become as influential as science subjects in modern circumstances.
*第 一个问题：形容词的使用。ultimate，终 极的，这个程度有点吓人。qualified去修饰citizens，仿佛不受教育就不配拥有公民权一般。
* 第二个问题：因果关系之间的信息有一个很大的空白，当然，噱头可能因此创造出来了。但是，这个空白却也给读者造成极大的困惑。所以，这个因果关系，嗯，值得商榷吧。其实，我觉得只要原因状语从句里的形容词更准确，就可以与主句中描述的结果有呼应，句子的逻辑就顺畅了。
* 第三个问题：circumstances?意义又太小了呢。还是society或者time才好吧。
* 第四个问题：for the future和modern circumstances中，future和modern，给人感觉时间上欠一致性。
* 第五个问题：整个句子读起来，表达繁琐了。
看下面
教师修改后的句子：
Education is to cultivate cultured citizens, and social sciences are to fulfill this purpose.
* be to 就可以表目的，而不说成the purpose of xxx is blah blah blah。
* cultured 这个词意思是“文雅的”，是不是和social sciences更契合。
* 后一个分句中的this purpose回应了前一个分句中的to cultivate cultured citizens这个目的。前后分句的逻辑配合，不留痕迹地表达了因果关系。
* 注意：science这个词作为可数名词的时候，意思是“学科”。
* 更值得注意的是：cultivate作为“培育”的意义时，宾语其实也许不应该是“人”这个概念(起码太多词典里都没有这个用法)，也就是说不能用cultivate培育人。但是，可以用cultivate培育庄稼，那我们把人理解为庄稼，像培育庄稼一样培育人的时候，就可以cultivate people了呢。
小总结：
* 定语(形容词)不是必需，所以但凡用到，就要注意表意的准确，甚至要考究。
* 语法的正确并不能保证意思的准确传达。
* 句子的简洁是(不仅仅)雅思写作的关键之一。
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雅思培训基础班
1.课程适合人群/适用阶段
（1）高中水平或雅思5分水平，基础薄弱的学生
（2）基础语法不完备，对雅思没有系统了解的学生
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2.课程亮点
（1）1V1定制课程，基础到强化循序渐进。
（2）师资力量雄厚，升学指导团队的平均教龄8年以上
（3）顾问1V1全方位指导，制定专属学习计划
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（5）实体教学环境，沉浸式高效学习
课程整体介绍
01
02
03
04
05
06
阅读知识点
听力知识点
口语知识点
写作知识点
核心词汇拓展
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英语听力
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英语写作
通过本课程的系统学习，每位学生能写出内容充实，在此基础上，掌握撰写毕业论文的基本技能。要熟练掌握提纲及提要和读书报告的撰写技巧，写作速度大约平均在每小时200-300词。
学习收获
现报名可打八五折
（仅限前100名学员）
（1）课前顾问对学生学习能力1对1评估，量身打造课程，帮助学生充分完成课前预习
（2）课中导师双语沟通，进行雅思题型总结，对原版真题进行知识点精讲
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7月17日雅思大作文示范写作 | 广告意在推销非必需品吗?
年7月17雅思大作文题目
Some people say that the main aim of advertising is to improve the sales of products that people do not really need.
To what extent do you agree or disagree?
范文及解析
Introduction
Advertising has been an integral part of our economic and social life now. However, as a powerful technique of promoting sales, it has been censured by some people for its “main aim”: to encourage shoppers to buy unnecessary goods. I tend to think that this view presents a very one-sided picture of advertising.
【解析】
integral part 不可或缺的部分
censure 谴责v.
one-sided 片面的adj.
Body Paragraph 1
The commentary is understandable that advertising creates unconscious desires. People holding this view may ascribe their over-consumption to advertisers’ exaggerated claims of their marketing pitches, which means advertising puts goods in a positive light, creating unrealistic expectations, all for the benefit of selling. Enticed by these messages, consumers would buy goods of little or no value to themselves on impulse, be it a new cell phone or a massage armchair.
【解析】
ascribe … to … 归咎于
marketing pitch 市场营销
entice 怂恿 v.
on impulse 一时冲动
Body Paragraph 2
To persuade potential customers through evoking their psychological appeals, indeed, is one objective of advertising. However, I would argue that there is a controversy in what constitutes necessities versus non-essentials. This ambiguous notion is changing, along with the change in generations. To explain, what seems nonessential now – a massage armchair, for example – may fulfill its function years later, whereas what seems required now – a cell phone, for example – may soon lose its value if operating systems suddenly upgrade.
【解析】
evoke 唤醒 v.
psychological appeals
controversy 争议 n.
Body Paragraph 3
My firm conviction is that the real objective of advertising is to promote effective communication between producers and consumers. When a new product is to be introduced in the market, producers create memorable advertising campaigns that boost brans recognition, from which potential customers can be informed more about product advantages and know what suits their requirements and budget. Not only that, advertising helps maintain the demand for existing products and services.
【解析】
introduce 引入v.
Conclusion
In conclusion, I would say that the main aim of advertising is to prepare a ground for the sales of products, but we cannot affirm that the promoted goods are unnecessary.
【解析】
prepare a ground for 为…打基础
affirm 断言v.
