7月17日雅思大作文示范写作 | 广告意在推销非必需品吗?
应对
Many scientists believe that now we can study the behavior of a three-year-old child to see whether they will grow up to be criminals.
To what extent do you think the human nature produces crimes?
How can we prevent children from growing up to be criminals?
这个题目
(2020年8月15日真题)
学生在结尾段落的时候写了如下一句话:
To conclude, it is unfair to believe that the human nature completely explains one’s future crimes, as external factors are more decisive.
教师修改后的句子,如下:
To conclude, it is unfair to believe that human nature or the genes completely account for why some people commit crimes, since external factors may be more decisive.
* 补充了or the genes。the genes这个词汇的使用很有意思。
* explains 换成了 account for,只是一种替换,就是补充词汇吧。
* one’s future crimes 换成了why people commit crimes。因为future crimes给人感觉这个人将来就是注定要犯罪的,而why some people commit crimes不是这个意思,就不会给人这个感觉,尤其是有some 这个词缩小了人群的范围。
* 引导原因状语从句的as换成了since,更合理。as的“因为”意义偏向“于此同时”,since的“因为”意义偏向“既然”。那么,因为前文已经仔细讨论过了external factors may be more decisive,所以,在结尾处用since更合理。
小总结
本回无

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相关题型分类练习

英语听力
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英语写作
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7月17日雅思大作文示范写作 | 广告意在推销非必需品吗?
年7月17雅思大作文题目
Some people say that the main aim of advertising is to improve the sales of products that people do not really need.
To what extent do you agree or disagree?
范文及解析
Introduction
Advertising has been an integral part of our economic and social life now. However, as a powerful technique of promoting sales, it has been censured by some people for its “main aim”: to encourage shoppers to buy unnecessary goods. I tend to think that this view presents a very one-sided picture of advertising.
【解析】
integral part 不可或缺的部分
censure 谴责v.
one-sided 片面的adj.
Body Paragraph 1
The commentary is understandable that advertising creates unconscious desires. People holding this view may ascribe their over-consumption to advertisers’ exaggerated claims of their marketing pitches, which means advertising puts goods in a positive light, creating unrealistic expectations, all for the benefit of selling. Enticed by these messages, consumers would buy goods of little or no value to themselves on impulse, be it a new cell phone or a massage armchair.
【解析】
ascribe … to … 归咎于
marketing pitch 市场营销
entice 怂恿 v.
on impulse 一时冲动
Body Paragraph 2
To persuade potential customers through evoking their psychological appeals, indeed, is one objective of advertising. However, I would argue that there is a controversy in what constitutes necessities versus non-essentials. This ambiguous notion is changing, along with the change in generations. To explain, what seems nonessential now – a massage armchair, for example – may fulfill its function years later, whereas what seems required now – a cell phone, for example – may soon lose its value if operating systems suddenly upgrade.
【解析】
evoke 唤醒 v.
psychological appeals
controversy 争议 n.
Body Paragraph 3
My firm conviction is that the real objective of advertising is to promote effective communication between producers and consumers. When a new product is to be introduced in the market, producers create memorable advertising campaigns that boost brans recognition, from which potential customers can be informed more about product advantages and know what suits their requirements and budget. Not only that, advertising helps maintain the demand for existing products and services.
【解析】
introduce 引入v.
Conclusion
In conclusion, I would say that the main aim of advertising is to prepare a ground for the sales of products, but we cannot affirm that the promoted goods are unnecessary.
【解析】
prepare a ground for 为…打基础
affirm 断言v.






