7月17日雅思大作文示范写作 | 广告意在推销非必需品吗?
应对
Some people say that the economic growth is the only way to end world poverty and hunger; while some say that economic growth is harmful to the environment, so we must stop it now.
Discuss both of the views and give your own opinion.
这个题目
学生在开头段落的第 一句写了下面这句话：
Some people think that the only effective way to end global poverty and hunger is developing the world’s economy, but some hold an extreme idea that we must cease the economic growth because of the environmental degradation it brings.
我们来看教师修改后的句子，如下：
Some people think that the only effective way to end global poverty and hunger is developing the world’s economy, but some oppose this idea. Their rebuttal, the opposite and rather extreme idea, is that we must cease the economic growth because of the environmental degradation it brings.
首先，原来的一句话拆成了两句话。第 一句的 but 后只是说到 some oppose this idea，但是没有说到具体的反对观点是什么。第二句开始，单独一句话说了反对观点是什么。这样的处理方式叫做“缓急”，也就是不着急一句话里塞满了信息(导致一句话的信息量过大，读者读起来感觉费劲)，而是在第 一句话里或者是让第 一句话成为第二句话的“引子”。
反对观点放在第二句话里，单独成句后，一上来就有了一个设计语法现象(同位语)的机会。
注意词汇：oppose 和 rebuttal(是rebut的名词)
小总结
好的作文肯定不仅仅是单句出色，还需要句子之间的配合。那么，“缓急”就是一个常用的用来搭配句子的方法。
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7月17日雅思大作文示范写作 | 广告意在推销非必需品吗?
年7月17雅思大作文题目
Some people say that the main aim of advertising is to improve the sales of products that people do not really need.
To what extent do you agree or disagree?
范文及解析
Introduction
Advertising has been an integral part of our economic and social life now. However, as a powerful technique of promoting sales, it has been censured by some people for its “main aim”: to encourage shoppers to buy unnecessary goods. I tend to think that this view presents a very one-sided picture of advertising.
【解析】
integral part 不可或缺的部分
censure 谴责v.
one-sided 片面的adj.
Body Paragraph 1
The commentary is understandable that advertising creates unconscious desires. People holding this view may ascribe their over-consumption to advertisers’ exaggerated claims of their marketing pitches, which means advertising puts goods in a positive light, creating unrealistic expectations, all for the benefit of selling. Enticed by these messages, consumers would buy goods of little or no value to themselves on impulse, be it a new cell phone or a massage armchair.
【解析】
ascribe … to … 归咎于
marketing pitch 市场营销
entice 怂恿 v.
on impulse 一时冲动
Body Paragraph 2
To persuade potential customers through evoking their psychological appeals, indeed, is one objective of advertising. However, I would argue that there is a controversy in what constitutes necessities versus non-essentials. This ambiguous notion is changing, along with the change in generations. To explain, what seems nonessential now – a massage armchair, for example – may fulfill its function years later, whereas what seems required now – a cell phone, for example – may soon lose its value if operating systems suddenly upgrade.
【解析】
evoke 唤醒 v.
psychological appeals
controversy 争议 n.
Body Paragraph 3
My firm conviction is that the real objective of advertising is to promote effective communication between producers and consumers. When a new product is to be introduced in the market, producers create memorable advertising campaigns that boost brans recognition, from which potential customers can be informed more about product advantages and know what suits their requirements and budget. Not only that, advertising helps maintain the demand for existing products and services.
【解析】
introduce 引入v.
Conclusion
In conclusion, I would say that the main aim of advertising is to prepare a ground for the sales of products, but we cannot affirm that the promoted goods are unnecessary.
【解析】
prepare a ground for 为…打基础
affirm 断言v.
