7月17日雅思大作文示范写作 | 广告意在推销非必需品吗?
应对
Some people say modern children’s games do not develop a wide range of skills, while traditional games can be much better for developing such skills.
To what extent do you agree or disagree?
这个题目
学生在主体部分某处写了下面这句话：
Like a basketball competition, each player is informed of their function in the competition, which someone takes responsibility for scores while another player keeps watching over the players in the opposite team and shield teammates from being “attacked”.
教师对句子进行了比较大的修改，如下：
This is much like a real-life basketball game, in which players are instructed to play their designated roles, such as attackers and defenders.
原句中的Like a basketball competition 是个不合理的状语成分，不论此处的like是“例如”的意思，还是“像…一样”的意思。
1)如果是“例如”的意思，like之前应该有一个描述整体的词，like后是一个具体的例子，比如：developing countries like China。
2)如果是“像…一样”的意思，那么此句的结构“Like A，B如何如何”中A和B是在概念上一致(注意：不是相关就可以，而是要一致)的两个词，而原句中的 a basketball competition(事件)与 each player(人)概念不一致。
inform的意思是“告知(信息)”，所以信息是information。这个句子中，队员不应该是“被告知信息”，而应该是“被指令去做某事”，所以该用instruct。
role替代function。人的作用对应“role”这个概念更合适，物件的作用对应“function”。
designated = “指定的”。
句子的简化。最明显的地方在于原句最后关于“得分球员”和“防守球员”的繁琐措辞被直接的两个单词所替代。
原句中的which引导的从句是基础性语法的错误，改成in which。
小总结
看似简单常用的词，可能长期的疏忽而一直在错。为了防止对错听天由命，我们要去词典核实用法。
通过attackers 和defenders这两个词可见词汇的作用。词汇积累的意义不言而喻。
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7月17日雅思大作文示范写作 | 广告意在推销非必需品吗?
年7月17雅思大作文题目
Some people say that the main aim of advertising is to improve the sales of products that people do not really need.
To what extent do you agree or disagree?
范文及解析
Introduction
Advertising has been an integral part of our economic and social life now. However, as a powerful technique of promoting sales, it has been censured by some people for its “main aim”: to encourage shoppers to buy unnecessary goods. I tend to think that this view presents a very one-sided picture of advertising.
【解析】
integral part 不可或缺的部分
censure 谴责v.
one-sided 片面的adj.
Body Paragraph 1
The commentary is understandable that advertising creates unconscious desires. People holding this view may ascribe their over-consumption to advertisers’ exaggerated claims of their marketing pitches, which means advertising puts goods in a positive light, creating unrealistic expectations, all for the benefit of selling. Enticed by these messages, consumers would buy goods of little or no value to themselves on impulse, be it a new cell phone or a massage armchair.
【解析】
ascribe … to … 归咎于
marketing pitch 市场营销
entice 怂恿 v.
on impulse 一时冲动
Body Paragraph 2
To persuade potential customers through evoking their psychological appeals, indeed, is one objective of advertising. However, I would argue that there is a controversy in what constitutes necessities versus non-essentials. This ambiguous notion is changing, along with the change in generations. To explain, what seems nonessential now – a massage armchair, for example – may fulfill its function years later, whereas what seems required now – a cell phone, for example – may soon lose its value if operating systems suddenly upgrade.
【解析】
evoke 唤醒 v.
psychological appeals
controversy 争议 n.
Body Paragraph 3
My firm conviction is that the real objective of advertising is to promote effective communication between producers and consumers. When a new product is to be introduced in the market, producers create memorable advertising campaigns that boost brans recognition, from which potential customers can be informed more about product advantages and know what suits their requirements and budget. Not only that, advertising helps maintain the demand for existing products and services.
【解析】
introduce 引入v.
Conclusion
In conclusion, I would say that the main aim of advertising is to prepare a ground for the sales of products, but we cannot affirm that the promoted goods are unnecessary.
【解析】
prepare a ground for 为…打基础
affirm 断言v.
