7月17日雅思大作文示范写作 | 广告意在推销非必需品吗?
应对
Some people say modern children’s games do not develop a wide range of skills, while traditional games can be much better for developing such skills.
To what extent do you agree or disagree?
这个题目
学生在主体部分某段第 一句写了下面这句话：
The lack of exercise, a way to improve sports skills, is a disadvantage of modern play.
The lack of exercise是指modern play缺乏锻炼么?还是其实是参与到modern play里的人缺乏锻炼呢?
这里，我们不同以往，要加入表扬：同位语a way to improve sports skills的使用倒是不错的。也不用担心会被误解，毕竟既然是to improve sports skills那是exercise的同位语(而不是the lack of exercise的)。同时，把劣势/缺陷的具体内容作为主语，这样的结构安排是合理的(虽然在内容上有上一条中所述的问题)，句子的表意直接明了。
但是，句子依然需要修改。修改后如下：
A major disadvantage of modern play is that modern toys may be so advanced that players may be sedentary.
原先的“主—系—表”结构维持不变，但是原先的表语现在是主语了，而原先的主语放到了表语的位置，并且在内容上改动很大。为什么?因为改动后的句子对这个disadvantage进行了更详细的描述，那么就是句子的最核心的内容了，内容多且最重要，于是后置，符合英语的表达习惯。
disadvantage之前加了一个程度修饰词major可以对于这个disadvantage讨论的重要性么，从而让这个段落在内容上的地位加强(符合原先的写作意图)，因为我们这下讨论的可是a MAJOR disadvantage。
修改后的句子的表语部分是一个名词性从句。在这个名词性从句里，是一个由so…that…组织起来的习语性结构。于是整个表语部分(作为句子的内容的核心)的内容就丰富了，表意功能也就加强了。
sedentary这个词替代原先的lack of exercise。
小总结
句型的组织时候是根据内容的需要来的。当我们加强了对于disadvantage的具体描述的时候，主语和表语的位置就有讲究了。
雅思培训基础班
1.课程适合人群/适用阶段
（1）高中水平或雅思5分水平，基础薄弱的学生
（2）基础语法不完备，对雅思没有系统了解的学生
（3）即将进入雅思课程，希望尽早熟悉雅思考题的学生
课程简介
2.课程亮点
（1）1V1定制课程，基础到强化循序渐进。
（2）师资力量雄厚，升学指导团队的平均教龄8年以上
（3）顾问1V1全方位指导，制定专属学习计划
（4）使用原版真题和九天独家辅导资料
（5）实体教学环境，沉浸式高效学习
课程整体介绍
01
02
03
04
05
06
阅读知识点
听力知识点
口语知识点
写作知识点
核心词汇拓展
相关题型分类练习
英语听力
听力常作为一种考试题型，目的在于考察应试者对英语语言的把握，考察考生对英语日常交流的理解能力;通常有听对话选择答案、听句子默写关键字词几种形式。
英语写作
通过本课程的系统学习，每位学生能写出内容充实，在此基础上，掌握撰写毕业论文的基本技能。要熟练掌握提纲及提要和读书报告的撰写技巧，写作速度大约平均在每小时200-300词。
学习收获
现报名可打八五折
（仅限前100名学员）
（1）课前顾问对学生学习能力1对1评估，量身打造课程，帮助学生充分完成课前预习
（2）课中导师双语沟通，进行雅思题型总结，对原版真题进行知识点精讲
（3）课后完成多样化作业并进行学术测试，班主任线上线下24小时答疑
7月17日雅思大作文示范写作 | 广告意在推销非必需品吗?
年7月17雅思大作文题目
Some people say that the main aim of advertising is to improve the sales of products that people do not really need.
To what extent do you agree or disagree?
范文及解析
Introduction
Advertising has been an integral part of our economic and social life now. However, as a powerful technique of promoting sales, it has been censured by some people for its “main aim”: to encourage shoppers to buy unnecessary goods. I tend to think that this view presents a very one-sided picture of advertising.
【解析】
integral part 不可或缺的部分
censure 谴责v.
one-sided 片面的adj.
Body Paragraph 1
The commentary is understandable that advertising creates unconscious desires. People holding this view may ascribe their over-consumption to advertisers’ exaggerated claims of their marketing pitches, which means advertising puts goods in a positive light, creating unrealistic expectations, all for the benefit of selling. Enticed by these messages, consumers would buy goods of little or no value to themselves on impulse, be it a new cell phone or a massage armchair.
【解析】
ascribe … to … 归咎于
marketing pitch 市场营销
entice 怂恿 v.
on impulse 一时冲动
Body Paragraph 2
To persuade potential customers through evoking their psychological appeals, indeed, is one objective of advertising. However, I would argue that there is a controversy in what constitutes necessities versus non-essentials. This ambiguous notion is changing, along with the change in generations. To explain, what seems nonessential now – a massage armchair, for example – may fulfill its function years later, whereas what seems required now – a cell phone, for example – may soon lose its value if operating systems suddenly upgrade.
【解析】
evoke 唤醒 v.
psychological appeals
controversy 争议 n.
Body Paragraph 3
My firm conviction is that the real objective of advertising is to promote effective communication between producers and consumers. When a new product is to be introduced in the market, producers create memorable advertising campaigns that boost brans recognition, from which potential customers can be informed more about product advantages and know what suits their requirements and budget. Not only that, advertising helps maintain the demand for existing products and services.
【解析】
introduce 引入v.
Conclusion
In conclusion, I would say that the main aim of advertising is to prepare a ground for the sales of products, but we cannot affirm that the promoted goods are unnecessary.
【解析】
prepare a ground for 为…打基础
affirm 断言v.
