7月17日雅思大作文示范写作 | 广告意在推销非必需品吗?
Many cities have vehicle-free days, when people are required or encouraged to take a bus, bicycle or travel by taxi. Do the advantages of this outweigh disadvantages?
应对上面这个题目，学生在正文写了如下一句话：
With the air pollutions and noise pollution affect the environment more and more serious in recent years, thereby the environment protection should be considered as everyone’s business.
不难发现：
语法错误，整个句子缺失主句。
试图创建的因果关系比较简单且显得生硬。
教师修改后如下：
Serious as air pollution is now, to reduce vehicle use and thereby to minimize exhaust emissions have been a pressing need.
解析：
保留了原有的因果关系，但调整了“果”这一部分，这样表述的话信息量会更足，对“空气污染”的根源分析也更透。
倒装的原因状语结构，写法同as所引导的让步状语结构倒装，形式都是：形容词+as+主语+be动词。
thereby这个词也要特别注意，千万不要误记成连词，它的使用方法一般是：用在句首另起一句;或者如此句，搭配连词and使用。
小总结：
因果关系是写作很重要很常用的一环分析，那么我们在思考时，不要浅浅地浮在表面分析，往下挖一点你的分析就更有深度。
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7月17日雅思大作文示范写作 | 广告意在推销非必需品吗?
年7月17雅思大作文题目
Some people say that the main aim of advertising is to improve the sales of products that people do not really need.
To what extent do you agree or disagree?
范文及解析
Introduction
Advertising has been an integral part of our economic and social life now. However, as a powerful technique of promoting sales, it has been censured by some people for its “main aim”: to encourage shoppers to buy unnecessary goods. I tend to think that this view presents a very one-sided picture of advertising.
【解析】
integral part 不可或缺的部分
censure 谴责v.
one-sided 片面的adj.
Body Paragraph 1
The commentary is understandable that advertising creates unconscious desires. People holding this view may ascribe their over-consumption to advertisers’ exaggerated claims of their marketing pitches, which means advertising puts goods in a positive light, creating unrealistic expectations, all for the benefit of selling. Enticed by these messages, consumers would buy goods of little or no value to themselves on impulse, be it a new cell phone or a massage armchair.
【解析】
ascribe … to … 归咎于
marketing pitch 市场营销
entice 怂恿 v.
on impulse 一时冲动
Body Paragraph 2
To persuade potential customers through evoking their psychological appeals, indeed, is one objective of advertising. However, I would argue that there is a controversy in what constitutes necessities versus non-essentials. This ambiguous notion is changing, along with the change in generations. To explain, what seems nonessential now – a massage armchair, for example – may fulfill its function years later, whereas what seems required now – a cell phone, for example – may soon lose its value if operating systems suddenly upgrade.
【解析】
evoke 唤醒 v.
psychological appeals
controversy 争议 n.
Body Paragraph 3
My firm conviction is that the real objective of advertising is to promote effective communication between producers and consumers. When a new product is to be introduced in the market, producers create memorable advertising campaigns that boost brans recognition, from which potential customers can be informed more about product advantages and know what suits their requirements and budget. Not only that, advertising helps maintain the demand for existing products and services.
【解析】
introduce 引入v.
Conclusion
In conclusion, I would say that the main aim of advertising is to prepare a ground for the sales of products, but we cannot affirm that the promoted goods are unnecessary.
【解析】
prepare a ground for 为…打基础
affirm 断言v.
