7月17日雅思大作文示范写作 | 广告意在推销非必需品吗?
Many cities have vehicle-free days, when people are required or encouraged to take a bus, bicycle or travel by taxi. Do the advantages of this outweigh disadvantages?
应对上面这个题目，学生在正文写了如下一句话：
With the passengers on one track increasing significantly, this might cause those workers miss their bus and cannot be punctual eventually.
※ 形近词区分，track什么意思呢?是想用truck替换题目中的公交?还是想表示waiting in line的乘客多?措辞不清就难免让读者费解。
※ this might cause就多余了，with结构本身就可以表“原因”。
※ 因果关系固然常用，但不能随便写，逻辑通顺与否需要好好考量。
教师修改后如下：
With more bus passengers on car-free days, public vehicles will be overloaded, and this will reduce ride comfort.
解析：
※ 调整了原句的因与果，调整后的三环因果解决了理解障碍。
※ 伴随状语部分加入on car-free days，是为了更扣住题干关键词，强调这几天的乘客人数会激增。
※ 还是保留了原有的平行结构，两个独立句子的平行，逻辑上也有递进关系。
小总结：
当考生有能力铺设暗线的因果关系时，要注意不要在明面上再重复一遍。
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7月17日雅思大作文示范写作 | 广告意在推销非必需品吗?
年7月17雅思大作文题目
Some people say that the main aim of advertising is to improve the sales of products that people do not really need.
To what extent do you agree or disagree?
范文及解析
Introduction
Advertising has been an integral part of our economic and social life now. However, as a powerful technique of promoting sales, it has been censured by some people for its “main aim”: to encourage shoppers to buy unnecessary goods. I tend to think that this view presents a very one-sided picture of advertising.
【解析】
integral part 不可或缺的部分
censure 谴责v.
one-sided 片面的adj.
Body Paragraph 1
The commentary is understandable that advertising creates unconscious desires. People holding this view may ascribe their over-consumption to advertisers’ exaggerated claims of their marketing pitches, which means advertising puts goods in a positive light, creating unrealistic expectations, all for the benefit of selling. Enticed by these messages, consumers would buy goods of little or no value to themselves on impulse, be it a new cell phone or a massage armchair.
【解析】
ascribe … to … 归咎于
marketing pitch 市场营销
entice 怂恿 v.
on impulse 一时冲动
Body Paragraph 2
To persuade potential customers through evoking their psychological appeals, indeed, is one objective of advertising. However, I would argue that there is a controversy in what constitutes necessities versus non-essentials. This ambiguous notion is changing, along with the change in generations. To explain, what seems nonessential now – a massage armchair, for example – may fulfill its function years later, whereas what seems required now – a cell phone, for example – may soon lose its value if operating systems suddenly upgrade.
【解析】
evoke 唤醒 v.
psychological appeals
controversy 争议 n.
Body Paragraph 3
My firm conviction is that the real objective of advertising is to promote effective communication between producers and consumers. When a new product is to be introduced in the market, producers create memorable advertising campaigns that boost brans recognition, from which potential customers can be informed more about product advantages and know what suits their requirements and budget. Not only that, advertising helps maintain the demand for existing products and services.
【解析】
introduce 引入v.
Conclusion
In conclusion, I would say that the main aim of advertising is to prepare a ground for the sales of products, but we cannot affirm that the promoted goods are unnecessary.
【解析】
prepare a ground for 为…打基础
affirm 断言v.
