7月17日雅思大作文示范写作 | 广告意在推销非必需品吗?
应对
Some people argue that the government should not pay money for international aid when there are some disadvantaged people at home (homeless or unemployed). To what extent do you agree or disagree?
这道题目
考生是这样写的：
Admittedly, putting larger proportion of the government’s budget to the poverty does improve the situation.
☆ 本期，我们来学习正文段落的开头到底怎么写具体信息才不会造成“赘述”之感。
教师修改后如下
Admittedly, domestic vulnerable groups should be the principle target of aid in the national budget rather than paying the international aid organizations.
☆ 我们都知道，在正文段落的第 一句话中，要将主要信息进行大量的浓缩来达到总起句言简意赅的功能表现，那么在学生练习的原句中，situation的使用就非常指向不明确， 并没有定向表明是上文中的‘the ignorance of domestic needs’ 还是群众的不满情绪，因而在这里，直接写situation是不合适。
☆ 学生将disadvantaged 缩小为poverty并不合适。弱势群体不单单包含了贫困人群，若想要从贫困人群的角度入手，建议放在论述当中进行分人群讨论才合适。这里直接将总起的人群狭隘限定成贫困人群会造成bug点，让读者觉得除了贫困者，其他弱势群体的帮扶是没有意义的。因此，教师直接修改成了vulnerable groups。
☆ larger的用法可能存在歧义。这里，学生的写作初衷应该是将internal aid和domestic assistance的援助进行比较，但是由于信息量的不充足可能会造成‘只要援助的比原来多，国内贫困人群的需求所造成问题就可以解决’的歧义感。因此，教师直接将表达内容修改成了domestic vulnerable groups should be the principle target of aid in the national budget rather than paying the international aid organizations，这样就可以直接避免歧义的出现，也将两个讨论主体直接点名，解决了situation的笼统感。
雅思培训基础班
1.课程适合人群/适用阶段
（1）高中水平或雅思5分水平，基础薄弱的学生
（2）基础语法不完备，对雅思没有系统了解的学生
（3）即将进入雅思课程，希望尽早熟悉雅思考题的学生
课程简介
2.课程亮点
（1）1V1定制课程，基础到强化循序渐进。
（2）师资力量雄厚，升学指导团队的平均教龄8年以上
（3）顾问1V1全方位指导，制定专属学习计划
（4）使用原版真题和九天独家辅导资料
（5）实体教学环境，沉浸式高效学习
课程整体介绍
01
02
03
04
05
06
阅读知识点
听力知识点
口语知识点
写作知识点
核心词汇拓展
相关题型分类练习
英语听力
听力常作为一种考试题型，目的在于考察应试者对英语语言的把握，考察考生对英语日常交流的理解能力;通常有听对话选择答案、听句子默写关键字词几种形式。
英语写作
通过本课程的系统学习，每位学生能写出内容充实，在此基础上，掌握撰写毕业论文的基本技能。要熟练掌握提纲及提要和读书报告的撰写技巧，写作速度大约平均在每小时200-300词。
学习收获
现报名可打八五折
（仅限前100名学员）
（1）课前顾问对学生学习能力1对1评估，量身打造课程，帮助学生充分完成课前预习
（2）课中导师双语沟通，进行雅思题型总结，对原版真题进行知识点精讲
（3）课后完成多样化作业并进行学术测试，班主任线上线下24小时答疑
7月17日雅思大作文示范写作 | 广告意在推销非必需品吗?
年7月17雅思大作文题目
Some people say that the main aim of advertising is to improve the sales of products that people do not really need.
To what extent do you agree or disagree?
范文及解析
Introduction
Advertising has been an integral part of our economic and social life now. However, as a powerful technique of promoting sales, it has been censured by some people for its “main aim”: to encourage shoppers to buy unnecessary goods. I tend to think that this view presents a very one-sided picture of advertising.
【解析】
integral part 不可或缺的部分
censure 谴责v.
one-sided 片面的adj.
Body Paragraph 1
The commentary is understandable that advertising creates unconscious desires. People holding this view may ascribe their over-consumption to advertisers’ exaggerated claims of their marketing pitches, which means advertising puts goods in a positive light, creating unrealistic expectations, all for the benefit of selling. Enticed by these messages, consumers would buy goods of little or no value to themselves on impulse, be it a new cell phone or a massage armchair.
【解析】
ascribe … to … 归咎于
marketing pitch 市场营销
entice 怂恿 v.
on impulse 一时冲动
Body Paragraph 2
To persuade potential customers through evoking their psychological appeals, indeed, is one objective of advertising. However, I would argue that there is a controversy in what constitutes necessities versus non-essentials. This ambiguous notion is changing, along with the change in generations. To explain, what seems nonessential now – a massage armchair, for example – may fulfill its function years later, whereas what seems required now – a cell phone, for example – may soon lose its value if operating systems suddenly upgrade.
【解析】
evoke 唤醒 v.
psychological appeals
controversy 争议 n.
Body Paragraph 3
My firm conviction is that the real objective of advertising is to promote effective communication between producers and consumers. When a new product is to be introduced in the market, producers create memorable advertising campaigns that boost brans recognition, from which potential customers can be informed more about product advantages and know what suits their requirements and budget. Not only that, advertising helps maintain the demand for existing products and services.
【解析】
introduce 引入v.
Conclusion
In conclusion, I would say that the main aim of advertising is to prepare a ground for the sales of products, but we cannot affirm that the promoted goods are unnecessary.
【解析】
prepare a ground for 为…打基础
affirm 断言v.
