7月17日雅思大作文示范写作 | 广告意在推销非必需品吗?
应对
An increasing number of people are changing careers during their working life. what are the reasons for this? Does it have a positive or negative development for society?
这个题目
学生的第 一句写道：
In today’s world, it is commonplace for working people to take a detour on their career path, a phenomenon to which there are multiple contributors.
* 读起来蛮高 级的句子吧?关键问题在于二：
* 首先是对于It is形容词 for somebody to do something这个句型的选择。看起来没有问题呀。其实，问题出在：原句的逻辑是“to take a detour on their career path对于working people而言是常见的”。这个“对于”的概念就令人感到奇怪也不通顺。
* 针对上一点，句子的表意逻辑改成“在某个人群当中某种现象是常见的”就更合理和通顺了。于是It is commonplace that somebody does something. 或者 Doing something is a commonplace among some people. 是的句型。
* 第二是a phenomenon to which there are multiple contributors 作为同位语，同位于什么呢?commonplace在主句里是个形容词呀，不是个名词呀。或者，主句里也没有名次性从句呀。那么，后面怎么接同位语呢。
* 同时，用个同位语去修饰那个commonplace的意图是什么呢?既然是还想回应题目中关于原因的提问。那为什么不用一个独立的句子呢?为什么要用同位语这个相比而言“卑微”的成分哟?
* take a detour是“绕道啊”，与更换职业有啥关系呢?这个“绕道”摆在这里感觉像故意在兜弯子一样。
* 对咯，最外面的状语，in today’s world，太大了吧。
看下面
教师修改意见：
It is a commonplace that people hop from one job to another, in the same or a different industry, and this phenomenon happens for a number of reasons.
* 解决了分析中提及的所有问题。
小总结：
* 句子的表意和逻辑是高于句子的形式的要求。简言之，内容优先于形式。
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7月17日雅思大作文示范写作 | 广告意在推销非必需品吗?
年7月17雅思大作文题目
Some people say that the main aim of advertising is to improve the sales of products that people do not really need.
To what extent do you agree or disagree?
范文及解析
Introduction
Advertising has been an integral part of our economic and social life now. However, as a powerful technique of promoting sales, it has been censured by some people for its “main aim”: to encourage shoppers to buy unnecessary goods. I tend to think that this view presents a very one-sided picture of advertising.
【解析】
integral part 不可或缺的部分
censure 谴责v.
one-sided 片面的adj.
Body Paragraph 1
The commentary is understandable that advertising creates unconscious desires. People holding this view may ascribe their over-consumption to advertisers’ exaggerated claims of their marketing pitches, which means advertising puts goods in a positive light, creating unrealistic expectations, all for the benefit of selling. Enticed by these messages, consumers would buy goods of little or no value to themselves on impulse, be it a new cell phone or a massage armchair.
【解析】
ascribe … to … 归咎于
marketing pitch 市场营销
entice 怂恿 v.
on impulse 一时冲动
Body Paragraph 2
To persuade potential customers through evoking their psychological appeals, indeed, is one objective of advertising. However, I would argue that there is a controversy in what constitutes necessities versus non-essentials. This ambiguous notion is changing, along with the change in generations. To explain, what seems nonessential now – a massage armchair, for example – may fulfill its function years later, whereas what seems required now – a cell phone, for example – may soon lose its value if operating systems suddenly upgrade.
【解析】
evoke 唤醒 v.
psychological appeals
controversy 争议 n.
Body Paragraph 3
My firm conviction is that the real objective of advertising is to promote effective communication between producers and consumers. When a new product is to be introduced in the market, producers create memorable advertising campaigns that boost brans recognition, from which potential customers can be informed more about product advantages and know what suits their requirements and budget. Not only that, advertising helps maintain the demand for existing products and services.
【解析】
introduce 引入v.
Conclusion
In conclusion, I would say that the main aim of advertising is to prepare a ground for the sales of products, but we cannot affirm that the promoted goods are unnecessary.
【解析】
prepare a ground for 为…打基础
affirm 断言v.
